Holding Myself to a Standard of Grace, not Perfection...

Yesterday I failed. As much as I hate to admit it, I did.

I couldn't fit into my dress jeans, I got lost at work, I got home late, and dinner was a complete disaster.

But thats not why I failed.

I recently started following Emily Ley on Instagram and her blog. You might have heard of her (if not, you should check her out!!). She is the creator of the Simplified Planners. A few weeks ago, she released free iPhone backgrounds and one said "I will hold myself to a standard of grace, not perfection". This quote really got to me. I ALWAYS hold myself to a standard of perfection. Being the perfect wife, the perfect daughter, the perfect coworker, the perfect friend...when really I am focusing on the wrong thing.

I found the link to her original post about this and man did it hit home. So I put that graphic on my phone and thought, there!! I will do just that. Hold myself to a standard of grace not perfection. POOF.  Lara Casey even talks about chasing perfection in her book, Make it Happen. And while reading, I am thinking - no more of this for me! I am a changed woman!

What I didn't realize is how hard this actually would be for type A people like me. I can read all the blog posts or books in the world telling me how to do this.  But actually doing it is hard!!

When I was standing in my kitchen crying last night, all I kept thinking was, how terrible of a wife/person I was. I have gained almost fifteen pounds (& before now, the only person who knew that was my husband) since the wedding. I have cooked only about 2 nights a week since we got married and the house always seems to be a mess. There are a million things on my January to do list, and I have crossed off maybe one. If you asked me, I would tell you, this is NO way for a woman to act.

Now, a day later, I realize how silly that was. Do I really think James would divorce me for these things? Obviously not, or I wouldn't have married him in the first place. What really would happen if I don't get everything on my to do list done? Then I look at my phone "I will hold myself to a standard of grace, not perfection".

Yes, I failed at that yesterday. Miserably. But today is a new day. Changing your way of life does not happen over night, and for me, giving up "perfect" is changing my way of life. I am a work in progress and I know God's not through with me yet!!

Tonight, we will relax on the couch. I will try not to get up and do laundry or some other task. I will enjoy time with my husband. And if a few weeks (or days) from now I fail again and revert back to my perfectionist / type A ways, I will just look at my phone and remember "I will hold myself to a standard of grace, not perfection".